The Power of Meaningful Connections

Addressing the (হাতি (hati): 

A Psychotherapist’s Approach. Vol 7

By Giuseppe Tagliarini BACP & Bryn Stillwell Primary Counselor

‘I have always been concerned about what others thought of me, and I believe most people feel the same to some degree. It’s human nature to care about how we are perceived. But for me, that concern used to be overwhelming. There were times when it felt like my heart was racing, and all I wanted to do was hide. My self-esteem hit rock bottom.

In high school and college, I became especially fixated on how many friends I had. Like many teenagers, I questioned my self-worth based on the size of my social circle. Who was I if I only had two best friends? Would the “popular” crowd ever accept me? And how could I ever hope to be part of that group if my closest friends weren’t included?

There was a girl I’ll call Rachel, who was part of the popular crowd. Everyone wanted to be her friend. She was always receiving texts, invitations, and calls, constantly on the move. I envied the social life she had—the life I thought I wanted.

To my surprise, during my senior year, Rachel and I became best friends. I can’t recall exactly how it happened, but it felt like a huge blessing. She accepted me wholeheartedly, and we became inseparable. Through Rachel, I gained access to the popular group. However, something interesting happened: I realized the other kids didn’t particularly care about me. They never reached out to hang out, text, or call me. I wasn’t really part of their group; I was simply Rachel’s friend who tagged along.

But what struck me during this time was that Rachel was always there for me. I started to see that it didn’t matter whether I was part of the “popular” group. What mattered was that I had a friend who loved me deeply.

Rachel taught me something incredibly valuable: It’s far more important to be loved deeply than to be liked widely.

Today, I only have a few close friends, but they are the kind of friends who would drop everything to be there if I needed them. They are the people I can call in the middle of the night, the ones who truly care about me. I may not have a wide circle of acquaintances, but I am deeply loved by those who matter most.

Let that sink in for a moment—it’s not about the quantity of people who like you, but the quality of the love you receive from the few who truly care. That’s where the real value lies.’ By Primary Counselor Bryn Stillwell

Giuseppe Tagliarini’s Therapeutic Strategies for Building Deeper Connections:

Know Yourself & What You Really Want:

It’s okay to want people to like you, but real happiness comes from deep connections, not just getting attention. Try writing in a journal to understand your feelings better and figure out what kind of friendships and relationships truly make you happy.

Good Friends Over Many Friends:

You don’t need a huge friend group to feel valued. Focus on spending time with people who genuinely care about you and help you grow. Have real conversations, listen to each other, and build strong bonds instead of just keeping up with lots of friends who might not always be there for you.

Be Real & Open:

It’s okay to share your feelings with people you trust. Being open helps friendships grow stronger, and it encourages others to be open with you too. It might feel a little scary at first, but it makes your relationships much more meaningful.

In conclusion, the path to peace and self-worth lies not in the validation of many, but in the unconditional love and support of a few. The more we embrace the quality of our connections, the more we can heal and grow.